Only Hope
by Lady Emily
Summary: Phil attempts to save Gilbert from heartache when he calls at Patty's Place on the fateful night of Roy's proposal to Anne. Little did she realize she had nothing to worry about after all.


Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me, but to the talented L.M. Montgomery, and I am making no profit from their use.

A/N: My first attempt at an Anne story. Set during Anne of the Island, on the night that Royal Gardner proposes to Anne.

* * *

Phil Gordon paced the parlor of Patty's Place with an excess of energy that was remarkable even for her.

"Will you calm down?" Stella Maynard chided from where she was curled up on the couch, her nose buried in a novel. "Wearing a hole in the carpet won't make Anne come home any faster."

Phil sank into the chair by the fireplace, absently caressing Magog's ceramic head. "I know it... but she's been gone for so long!"

Stella closed her book and sat up straight. "Anne and Roy have taken long walks before." she reminded her practically.

"Oh, but it's different this time, and you know it!" Phil retorted impatiently. "Everyone can see it; Roy's going to propose tonight! And it's taken him long enough to do it!" Even sitting down, she couldn't manage to keep her feet from shuffling restlessly. "Oh, she'll be over the moon, won't she?"

There was a knock at the front door and both Phil and Stella arose, regarding each other with surprise as they simultaneously realized that Anne –the only person they were expecting– hardly had need to knock on her own door.

Aunt Jamesina answered the door and showed their guest in, and Phil's smile grew strained as she found herself looking into the pleasant features of Gilbert Blythe. "Gilbert! What a nice surprise." Oh, what timing was this! Anne due home, _an engaged woman_, at any moment, and Gilbert Blythe picked today of all days to come visiting.

Gilbert's eyebrows lifted at her greeting. "Have I come at a bad time? I realize I've missed quite a few Fridays." he said apologetically. The politeness in his tone did little to cover the fact that the reason for his previous absences was known to all: although he hid it admirably, Anne's refusal of his marriage proposal, nearly two years ago, had changed him. He visited less frequently and worked more constantly than he ever had before, and the close friendships he'd maintained with the girls of Patty's Place had been allowed to cool.

"Not at all." Stella assured him. "Do come in." But she exchanged a worried glance with Phil.

As Gilbert removed his hat and coat and sat down, Phil noted that he wasn't looking altogether _well_. He had lost weight, and his skin was just a shade pale. Worst of all were his eyes, which seemed tired... and _empty_. No matter how much she supported her friend's decision to marry Roy Gardner, there was a part of Phil that still wished that Anne had chosen Gilbert, if only to save them all from the haunted look in his once-merry hazel eyes.

But there she went, being selfish and melodramatic again. Surely Gilbert was fine, he'd borne up well under Anne's rejection- was, in fact, according to college rumor, engaged himself. And if he had a haunted look to him, it was a kind of look that came only in little flashes that were certainly no business of Phil's. "I'm afraid Anne isn't here." she said, addressing the elephant in the room as she was wont to do.

"Ah." Gilbert nodded, looking neither pleased nor particularly disappointed. Within a few minutes, the three regained their conversational equilibrium and found themselves chattering and teasing like old friends, catching up on the others' latest trials and triumphs, and discussing plans for the upcoming year. She had nearly forgotten how enjoyable Gilbert's company was over the past few months, and despite her determined attentiveness to the outside walkway, Phil almost didn't notice the sound of distinctly female footsteps coming up the path.

Catching Stella's eye once more, Phil stood quickly, hoping to preempt an ill-timed marital-themed announcement. "Where are my manners? We should have offered you tea, Gil. You'll have some, won't you?"

Something in her tone induced Gilbert to accept her offer, and Phil had no sooner excused herself from the parlor than Anne slipped into the house, shutting the front door against the dusky air and leaning against it. "Oh, Phil..."

Intent on informing her friend of their visitor, and knowing full well that their voices would likely be heard from the parlor, Phil hissed, "Anne, you should know that-"

"You won't believe what I've done." Anne said, cutting her off. "Oh, Phil!"

The look on Anne's face was like nothing Phil could have expected. She looked sick and forlorn. Her gray-green eyes were sparkling not with love, but with tears. "Anne?"

Anne's cheeks flushed. "Roy asked me to marry him and I said no."

"You said _what?_" Anne's statement was so unexpected that Phil forgot to keep her voice lowered. "Anne Shirley! Why?"

"I don't know!" Anne blinked and the tears began to fall, and paradoxically, the falling tears seemed to trigger her crying in earnest. "He asked, Phil, and it was such a beautiful proposal, and it was on the tip of my tongue to say yes... and then I suddenly knew that I couldn't!"

Phil planted her fists on her hips. "If you think you've made a mistake you'll have to-"

"But I haven't!" Anne insisted. "I just _knew_, in that moment, that I could never marry Roy, I couldn't. He doesn't belong with me, he doesn't belong _to_ me."

"He would if you married him." Phil pointed out coolly. If Anne Shirley didn't beat all! "How could you do it, Anne? How could you lead him on so shamelessly like that? For two years!"

"I wasn't leading him on!" Anne protested. "I truly did think I could marry him until that last second. I thought I loved him, but I don't. It's not _enough_."

"Not enough!" Phil repeated incredulously. "The richest family in Kingsport! Must have been your conscience, stopping you at the last second from marrying him for all that money!"

Anne let out a little wounded shriek. "You _know_ I never cared for his money! Oh, Phil, don't think that of me, _please_."

"And what am I supposed to think?" Phil inquired brusquely, though Anne's pleading and tears were beginning to soften her. "...Two years!"

"Think that I was a fool, imagining myself into love like that. It was awful, Phil, I _hurt_ him. He despises me now, and I despise myself. And I wouldn't be surprised if you despise me too!"

Phil reached out and pulled the crying girl into her arms. "Of course I don't, darling. I shouldn't have said those things." After all, hadn't she been just as confused as Anne during her Alec-and-Alonso days?

Anne clung to her, sobbing into her shoulder. "But, Phil... he had _no_ sense of humor! How could I marry a man like that?"

"You couldn't." Phil soothed, smoothing Anne's hair with her hand.

"But he was a good man, and I treated him so horribly. How could I have done it?" Anne mourned. "Oh, Phil, proposals are so horrible! I hope no man _ever_ asks me to marry him, _ever again_!"

Anne's oft-expressed complaint about proposals suddenly reminded Phil of the houseguest she'd forgotten and she stiffened. He'd no doubt heard the whole thing! "Anne!" she whispered urgently. "Gilbert! He's in the-"

"Oh, don't scold me about Gil _now_. I can't bear it." Anne pleaded, pulling away from Phil. "I know well enough that I treated him nearly as badly as Roy, and lost a dear friend in the process-"

"No, Anne, I meant-"

"-And it's so much _worse _when I think of Gil, because Gil belongs in my life, and Roy doesn't, and now I've gone and messed up the natural order of everything!"

"Anne!" Phil squealed, dismayed at Anne's dramatic –but heartfelt– display of emotion. "Gil is _here._" she hissed, flinging a hand at the parlor door.

Anne's face grayed, and then two spots of red bloomed on her cheeks as she stared at Phil in horror, clapping her hands over her mouth. For Gil to be here, now! For him to have heard about Roy, about the proposal, and the things she'd said about him! Could there be anything more humiliating? "Phil, I... I can't..." That she could not go into the parlor and visit in this state hardly needed to be spoken.

"Of course not, dear." Phil said understandingly. "You go ahead and run up to your room, and I'll bring you some tea in a bit." For she had finally remembered what it was she was _supposed _to be doing in the first place.

Anne just nodded sickly. "_Thank you_, Phil." she said quietly.

Anne made her strategic retreat and Phil hastened to the kitchen to prepare the long-awaited tea, but was interrupted by Gilbert's emergence from the parlor. "I'm sorry, Phil, I must be off."

"Oh," Phil said, not sure whether she should or should not be surprised by his sudden departure. "I hope I wasn't _that_ long in bringing the tea!"

"Not at all." Gilbert answered. "I simply forgot an errand that I'd promised to do tonight. Forgive me for coming and going without warning like this."

"You're always welcome, of course." Phil said absently. This was Gilbert's way of tactfully excusing her, so that she could go to Anne, she realized. "You will visit again before we give up Patty's Place next week, won't you?"

"Of course." Gilbert promised. "I couldn't leave Kingsport without saying goodbye to you girls... or this house, for that matter!" He met her eyes as he opened the door, and Phil was left stunned in the hall as he closed it behind him... His eyes, the way they looked, was... unexplainable.

But the one thing she had certainly not seen in them was emptiness.

Stella too emerged from the parlor, her lips pursed in an unfathomable expression. "He pretended not to, but I'm sure he heard the whole thing. _I_ did."

Phil was still thinking of the difference she'd seen in Gilbert from the time he arrived to when he'd left. "You know, I don't think he's engaged to Christine Stuart after all." she mused.

"If he is, he doesn't love her." Stella said seriously. "When we heard that Anne had refused Roy... you should have seen his face. After all this time, he's still in love with _her_... Poor Gil."

"Maybe not so poor," Phil suggested, finally setting the water on to boil. "Anne did say that he belonged in her life, and not Roy."

"Perhaps she didn't mean romantically." Stella pointed out.

"Oh, she didn't." Phil acknowledged. "...But Anne has a way of changing her mind about these things."

Stella shook her head disapprovingly. "I do hope you're right Phil. It's just cruel if she doesn't change her mind. She gave him _hope._"

But Phil, having seen the light in Gilbert's eyes, was disinclined to think the circumstances were so very cruel. "Yes," she said with a slight smile. "She gave him hope."


End file.
